Living Wills...Control your own destiny!
79Control your own destiny!
Everyone that has reached an age sufficient enough to be making life decisions, should definitely consider getting a LIVING WILL.
This is in addition to any other type of legal document one has secured.
Those are also vitally important.
Please accept this bit of advice from the perspective of having been in the nursing profession and having seen the good, the bad and the ugly decisions that are made for people once they can no longer tell the doctors and other decision makers what they might have wanted or wished regarding medical care for themselves.
I'll give you two examples of the "ugly" decisions, in my opinion.
Making one's wishes known
Living wills
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Me wearing my nurse's uniform and hat back in the 1970's
The Importance of Living Wills...
Real story number one...
One was a terminal cancer patient that I attended as a private duty nurse. It was one of the very few private duty cases that I ever accepted and I felt an obligation to remain on the case until the death of the patient. This was not easy! I'll call him Mr. X.
He was a lovely man with metastasized cancer that had spread over his entire body. He was most often in pain. His veins were poked and assaulted with so many intravenous fluids and medications, that they were harder and harder to find and keep patent (open and free flowing.) When they finally had to try and find some available veins in his feet because the other sites had been exhausted, he screamed out with pain.
I refused to inflict this suffering and the floor nurses had to follow the doctors orders instead.
Mr. X quite often hallucinated, so had he spoken to doctors about his wants and desires at that point, they probably would not have deemed his decisions "normal" and worth following. Thus, his family made the medical decisions for him and they decided to prolong his life.
This happened to be during a period with a severe blood shortage in Houston and I often wondered why they kept giving Mr. X blood when his case was terminal and other people undoubtedly needed the blood to survive. I personally thought that this was criminal!
The odor coming from his room due was horrendous. I understood why most of the other private duty nurses bailed out of caring for him. My stomach often lurched and I never did vomit, but most often had to fight that feeling each day when I first entered his room.
His family DID come and visit him, but never stayed in the room for long. They would gather and visit with each other in a nearby lounge. I was instructed to come and get them if anything rapidly deteriorated.
Mr. X's final relief came shortly after his attending doctor gave me a verbal order (which I happily charted) to discontinue the I.V's when the next time came when his veins would no longer support them. The doctor was going on vacation and actually told Mr. X that he would "see him in the next life." It did not take long for that poor man's vein to be blown........in other words, the I.V. no longer worked.
When he was no longer able to receive fluids and medications, he quite peacefully slipped into a semi-comatose state and quietly died. All the many needless weeks of suffering had come to a close.
Had Mr. X had a living will (also called an advanced directive), and his intentions regarding care "above and beyond" the ordinary.........especially if chances of a full recovery looked grim, this long drawn out scenario might never have occurred.
His peaceful death could have come earlier and he would have suffered far less pain!
Living Will
A fellow hubber's suggestions about making wills in general...
Real story number two...
Another example goes back to my student nursing days when I actually volunteered to be in the hospital.
I was asked to "sit" with a patient that was in a private room and was in a full coma. He was hooked up to all kinds of medical paraphernalia including a respirator. (At that point in my desired nursing career, it was actually a bit scary for me!)
His family wanted to "keep him alive" until family members from other parts of the country could get there to see him.
Yes..........his body was in that bed..........but he was hardly alive in any other sense. He could not breathe on his own and he was determined to be brain dead. The only thing moving was the heaving of his chest in time with the noise of the respirator. Was this the life he would have wished for himself? I often wondered.
It did not take me long to realize that I did not want my life to be attended like these examples at it's end stage. With a LIVING WILL one has choices! It is a simple form that can be signed and notarized. Make sure your family members or others that might be caring for you know of it's existence. Give a copy of it to your doctor.
Whatever you decide to do, consider making your wishes known PRIOR to any need. Don't get stuck in situations outside of your control. You might end up suffering needlessly, not to mention the ridiculous costs of on-going medical care when there is no chance of successful recovery.
Do an online search of Living Wills. You can print out forms that meet various state requirements and all at no cost. My heartiest recommendations would be that you protect yourself and make your wishes known TODAY. Tomorrow could be too late!
Be in control of your own destiny. Get a living will!
Living Wills, After Terri Schiavo
Living Will - Advanced Directives
More hubs by Peggy W...
- Teaching Kids about Money and Family Values ~ Allowances for Kids
Journey back with me to learn about how my grandmother, born in 1898 was taught about the value of money & passed it forward through the generations. - Supporting Charities and Saving Lives ~ Donations to Charities
Learn about the importance of supporting all types of charities for the recipient & also yourself. - Pictures of Sponge Painted Walls in My Mother-in-Law's Bathroom
- Importance of Wearing Sunglasses ~ Eye Protection ~ Designer Sunglasses
- Recycling for a greener planet.
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CommentsLoading...
never realized the importance of putting down choices for oneself.I did want to make a will but thought would only mention my property and how i wanted it divided between my two daughters.this is a new aspect and yes i will make one soon though i do not know if it is legal in India to do so but at least my kids will know what i want.
thanks for a nice bit of though provoking info.
Peggy,
You have raised a very good and important question. Living will is important and I understand the consequences of it. Your examples are heart rendering and I pray that no one gets to go through this in their lifetime.
Voted up and sharing it across!
Such sad stories but so valid an example when trying to explain the need for a living will. I have one and am pleased that as you said in your comment it is one of the first things they ask me when I'm in the ER or hospital. Voted up interesting useful Thank you for sharing.
Peggy W, you have so eloquently pointed out two good reasons for everyone to make their own choices through advance directives.
Voted up and SHARED.
Living wills are very important and your hub proves beyond any shadow of doubt that they should be made. Unfortunately many people don't even make a will of any kind and this can lead to acrimony and bitterness in families. Your case studies are excellent and I am sure your hub will help someone to reduce needless suffering. Voted up etc.
Living wills are important to ensure you have a say
Sanguine advice - something I have not done and need too.
My brother-in-law was mortally injured in a gay-bashing incident some years ago and he was on life support for some days until his feet were going gangrenous and it was clear that he would not survive if taken off life support. My then wife and I discussed the issue and decided to ask the hospital to switch off the machines. They were very reluctant but eventually his doctor agreed. He died peacefull very soon afterwards. It was a very traumatic time for us.
Some years before my own brother died of lung cancer, just weeks after being put onto chemo which made him so sick.
Just a few weeks ago as you know my mother-in-law died of lung cancer. She went through months of hell caused by the chemo. I wonder about this. If the prognosis is poor, why put people through the additional trauma of chemo, why keep them "alive" hooked up to a machine? It makes no sense to me at all.
I don't have a "living will" yet, but my wife knows how I feel - if I should get cancer or any similar disease I don't want to be kept alive artificially or to go through the hell of chemo. Give me lots of morphine and let me die in peace!
Thanks for this wonderful Hub and I'm going to get that "living will" form signed now!
Love and peace
Tony
So vital Peggy - I'm so glad I came upon this hub. So many people seem to think that if they don't think about death, it will elude them. It makes so much sense to be practical. What I've also felt is, that with a living will, not only will your wishes be followed, it also relieves your loved ones of having to make decisions. It's a tough call for a child to take a decision to stop medication or turn off a life support system - so much easier when they are just following your instructions. Great hub - thumbs up!
Good advice. I have had a living will for many years.
This is a very useful hub Peggy. I must say it touched me. I'm in a medical field, below 40yrs and I must say I have been avoiding it just because I just didn't want to think about that day. This hub just reminds us all of the importance of preparing your will prior to disaster strike, as you say, there's no need to suffer the pain you can easily avoid.
Very important topic in this hub Peggy. I am glad you discussed this topic and opened the eyes of all the persons who will visit your hub here. It is very essential to make a living will. this is one topic we do ignore. And, this needs to be taken care of urgently. I definitely do NOT wish to be kept alive if my brain is dead and I am a vegetable due to some cause.
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Peggy W Hub Author 4 weeks ago
Hello neeleshkulkarni,
That is so important to let your daughters know your wishes and if you have it in writing and they can show a doctor, even if it is not a legal document in India, at least everyone will know how you would wish for your final days or hours to end and perhaps your wishes will be fulfilled that way. Thanks for your comment.